Lai Deshay

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The Road to Fitness

Labels : lifestyle

Hello Beautiful/Handsome.

Since I switched over to this being a lifestyle blog I figured I'd share with you my current life situation. So quick life update I have recently gone through a career change so I have found myself back in school. With that being said, some of my unhealthy ways have found me. Eating late, not getting adequate rest (as I type this at 5:15am when I have an 8:30am gym date.. Hehe), not working out... You get the jist. I had found myself 15 pounds over weight and none of my clothes fitting. It was so hard for me to get my life together for some reason. I can hear Tamar right now telling me to get my life. So soon as the semester was over I knew something had to give.

May rolls around and I had so many body and life goals I had to get that planet fitness in my life. My first step to getting healthy was to be honest with myself and get those measurements. But once I got them I promised to not micromanage them or obsess over that scale. In the past that scale and those numbers on that tape measure dictated how I seen my self worth. I wasn't going to have that happen again.

My goal was to not only lose weight it was to gain confidence. It was to love this chunky juicy body that I was currently in while trying to get to the one I wanted. That by far was/is the hardest part. A lesser known fact about me is that I have some bad body dismorhphia. For some reason when I look in the mirror no matter what size I am I see what I perceive as a huge morbidly obese person. I don't know why but I just don't like what I see most days. Maybe you can understand me now when I said loving this body that I currently have was so hard for me.

Prayer and patiences is the name of the game.

You have no idea how many times I said, "Lord please make it so that cake, cookies, and junk food are nasty to me." You need God in every aspect of your life even your weight lose journey. He however didn't grant that they were nasty for me but I can certainly tell you that I don't eat them as much and they don't taste as great as they used to. Okay child I'm lying.... but what I will say is they don't satisfy me like they used to. So shout out to Jesus for the break through.

Patience is an obvious factor because if you don't have patience you're going to give up and never see results. Slowly but surely you're going to see your hard work paying off. Patience also coincides with consistency. Something that I quite frankly lack. Got to be honest with yourself too. Sometimes we just have to know who we are and be who we are so we can grow and evolve. People who don't know who they are tend to be stuck in their circumstances because they are either in denial, don't know how to get out, or they just plan don't realize it. Self love should be your first love, and through loving yourself you get to know yourself. It's the same as dating and getting to know someone. Instead you're getting to know the most important person on earth, yourself. Self realization will happen when you start paying attention to feelings you get when you do things or eat things. It even happens when you stop and think about why you acted a certain way in a situation. Digging into that subconscious finding your triggers will help you learn to evolve and be who you want to be, and go where you want to go. Honey I'm saving you some money, therapist who?!?! (Just kidding I'm not a medical professional and seeking help is awesome if you can't do it alone. I've seen a therapist before. Shouts out to Chrissy, that's the homie.)

Hopefully I didn't lose you, I know some of y'all are like, "Lai what are you talking about what's this got to do with weight lost?" It's got everything to do with weight loss. Most of this struggle is mental, if your mind isn't right you'll be easily broken. That's with anything you do, not just weight loss. With my semi lack of consistency and focus at times it's hard for me to push myself but it's possible. I'm kinda a loser so if I can do it you can do it.

So some stats about my body before I get into results:

1. I gain muscle super fast so my scale is always misleading. I was really thin (26" waist) with barely any fat on my body and weighed 150lbs with a small body type and only being 5' 3 1/2"

2. My stomach will look the same but feel so different. The muscle inside will build up super hard but that gushy fat will stay there.

3. I only work out between 2-4 days a week. Some days or every couple of weeks I just do cardio because of point

So from my starting measurements on May 11 to August 16th measurements here are my lost inches

Bust: Down 1 1/2 inches

Waist: Down 6 inches (YYYAASSS)

Hips: None (praise God for the booty conservation)

Weight: down 2lbs (after I stopped working out as regularly)

I just recently went to the beach and was sooo nervous and filled with anxiety about going to the beach with my family and friends. Feeling naked, vulnerable, and exposed I took that leap of faith and I did it. I took of my clothes off and exposed my body in a bathing suit I though would never see the light of day. Soon as I took it off I looked around and to my surprise no one was looking or pointing and discreetly chuckling. No one was gawking or secretly taking pictures of the "fat girl" on the beach. No one gave a damn. I soon realized that I was the only one that cared about how I looked. I finally realized that it is true I'm my own biggest critic. Once I realized that I too didn't give a damn. Me my gushy stomach, my cellulite thighs, my rolls, and my stretch marks had a great time at the beach. I was truly feeling like my alter ego aka SummaTimeFine22 (which is also my Snapchat name, follow me) ! Though I still have my issues with my body. I'm still working on it but I'm choosing to stay on top of it and love myself through it all.

In order to show personal growth here are pictures of me at the beach with and without my good angles. I'm okay with showing them bc I know where I came from and I know where I'm going.

Feel free to share your story with me or let me know if me sharing helped you in any way by emailing heyasklai@gmail.com. I also answer questions or even give some advice you may have on this email.

Don't be afraid to be vulnerable,

XOXO,

LaiDeshay

In Loving Memory Of Aiyanna Nicole Tellis-Perkins ♡

Labels : lifestyle

Transparency is something that I suffer with. I have a hard time finding a space between sharing enough and sharing too much. I am finding, as I am becoming into myself, that sharing is a form of expression. Finding ways to express myself has always been an outlet for me every since I was a child. So with that being said I thought that I would take a step forward into being transparent and express myself. It's not healthy to hurt all alone and it's not fair to not be open to the people that support me and look for me to post to my blog. Since this is a lifestyle blog, lets take a step into my life.

That day in February I will never forget, and the pain felt from losing you is one hard pill to swallow. We hate that you had to be our reminder that life is short. Its funny how in death you realize that you're not really living. I find myself everyday evaluating my life and making sure I am happy with myself just incase I am not greeted in the morning with The Lord's sunlight. My thoughts are constantly of you and my dreams play our memories together.

Literally everyday I want to break down and cry when I see your name on my Facebook feed but I calm myself down remembering two things, our first day of auditions for band and the two dreams I had with you in them after you passed.

Some of you might not know but when I was in high school I was an auxiliary member of E.E. Smith's Auxiliary. It had been a childhood dream of mine and my sophomore year it became a reality. Nervous was an understatement, I didn't know anyone and I was there all by myself. So after auditions I was standing outside the band room by myself just waiting for my mom to come and get me then Aiyanna, Christa, and Sheila came up to me and said, "Hey cousin!" I had no idea who they were so I just looked in confusion and said hello. They asked me if I remembered them and told me they were PoohBear's cousin (my dad). I remember Yanna saying to me, "You don't remember me, I'm your cousin we went to Pre-K together?" I started to feel kinda bad and said no. Even still she was just so happy and pleasant even though for the life of me I could not remember who she was. She told me, "Well my birthday is in a few weeks you have to come to my party so I can introduce you to my friends" and gave me her number.

I was so shy, maybe on the outside looking in, not very friendly and receptive, but despite that she still was always so nice to me and made me feel like I had a friend when I was feeling so lonely. Even though I couldn't remember who she was at first she just made me feel safe in a way that I didn't have to do it alone. I was so grateful for her, I still am.

After she passed I had a really hard time dealing with it and had an even harder time sleeping at night. One night in particular as I was closing my eyes I saw her face, so happy and cheerful waving at me. It scared me so I opened my eyes but every time I would close them I saw her face again. This was really significant to me because when my Grandmother Rosie passed, when I was 9 years old, the same thing happened to me. I had a dream of her sitting on my window seal smiling and waving at me. I guess it was God's way of telling me that they were okay, and that they were with him. I felt scared because I saw her so vividly but also happy because I knew she was okay and I got to see her.

The day before her funeral I was a complete and utter mess. I couldn't fall asleep and I had been awake for going on 2 or 3 days because I just didn't want that day to come. In my mind the faster I went to sleep, the sooner that dreaded day would come. Also I knew I was going to have another dream about her, it was one of those gut feelings that I couldn't shake. So when I finally did go to sleep I had a dream.

I was inside this beautiful southern style house walking down this hallway. As I'm walking it felt like an angel was walking with me helping me be prepared for what was about to happen. Walking to the front door I could see through the screen door this all white, grand looking porch and in the background it was nothing but light, almost as if the house itself was floating in the clouds. When I opened the screen door and looked at the porch I see Sheila taking pictures of Aiyanna and Charles. She was dressed in her wedding dress and Charles was in a tux. They looked so happy it was just beautiful. Never have I seen so much love and happiness the way they looked into each others eyes that I started to cry. They looked at me and gave me and Yanna a moment alone, she hugged me and it felt so real that I cried more. She looked at me right in my eyes as she held my hands and said, "I'm okay. I'm happy and I lived a fulfilling life. I got to experience love and marry the man of my dreams. My life was full don't worry about me. I love you." She then backed up and I woke up right before it was time for me to get up for the funeral. The night before I had so many thoughts in my head, I was sad, angry, hurt, and just not content. That morning I woke up feeling content knowing that not only was she with God that she enjoyed her life while she was here.

I just thank God that he allowed me to have that wonderful dream about her and whenever I feel like breaking down I just think back on those moments and find my contentment again. Since you passed I have really been trying to live a full life and follow the example to which you lived your life. You have been an inspiration to so many people. We love and miss you Yanna, we'll be seeing you in Heaven one day.

Love,
Lai #LongLiveYanna

*If you'd like to share a similar story with me you can email me at HeyAskLai@gmail.com

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Dorothy Dandridge | Fashion Crush: Black History Month Edition ♡

Labels : fashion , lifestyle

Miss Dandridge I Love Your Style

In honor of Black History Month I would like to take the time to recognize an African American Women every week this month to pay homage to the women who had to fight before me. As philosopher Bernard of Charles said, " If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." Nothing in this world in truly ours so it is important to pay respects to the giants who have cleared and paved the way for you.

The Life. The Legacy.

An American Actress born November 9, 1922 was an icon for being a noteworthy African American performer. Her early beginnings consisted of her and her sister, Vivian, touring much of Southern America performing a song-and-dance act created by their mother Ruby. Throughout her years of filmography she was very much noted as being stunningly beautiful.

With a total of 37 known movies, 23 known songs, and countless night club performances she was an inspiration for many minority girls and women that there was hope. Her most noteworthy work is for her role in Carmen Jones where she became the first African American to be nominated for an Academy Award.

In the Black community she has been deemed "our Marilyn Monroe." Meaning the black Marilyn Monroe. There are plenty of articles that debate the two beauties but needless to say Dandridge was very much so under appreciated, which is to be expected considering her skin tone. During the time that the great Dorothy Dandridge was alive was very much a time were black lives didn't matter and it was seemingly okay. God bless her soul for being so strong and courageous during that time were our country really didn't fight for us.

There are many actresses and celebrities that pay homage and credit her works as their inspiration including Halle Berry who produced and starred in a feature film in her honor entitles Introductong Dorothy Dandridge. She was a style icon, role model, and a positive force within the entertainment industry during that time.

Style Influence

She was known for her slim but shapely figure, smooth voice and sweet smile. She was fun, playful, energetic, and sexy without being a complete sexual figure. I have so much respect for a woman of this caliber to be classy and conservative. In today's day and age you almost can't get a movie role without nudity. Though the times now and then are vastly different I hope that somewhere down the line wearing clothes and preserving your sexy comes back in style.

This is Dorothy Dandridge.

Dorothy was an African American entertainer during the 40-60's.

Dorothy was sexy and keep it classy.

Dorothy is best known for her feature in Carmen Jones.

Dorothy made waves.

Be like Dorothy.

*All of these images do not belong to me. They were not created by me nor meant to be assumed that they were taken by me. The images belong to the respective websites that were linked above.*